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It's been a while. I miss you. This was all my fault. I'm so sorry. For everything. They told me things would get better. That I'm worth it. But they were lying.
You probably won't care. I don't expect you to. I was an asshole, and I'm going to get what I deserve. Please, don't try to talk me out of this. You know you want it. I never wanted to die alone, but I guess I deserve this. I never got the chance to tell you how much I love you.
Goodnight, R. Goodbye.
-J