>>6406
Morality doesn't exist OP.
Just don't knock her up and it's fine.
Fuck your mom all you want.
Hell I wish I had a sexy mom to bork.
Though it's probably fucked up that she sexually abused you as a child. that's what is fucked up.


Post stories, tho.

>>6407
you don't understand, I'm hurting terribly. plus I don't like her anymore
this has warped my perception about many things and badly affected my point of view and attitudes
it's so painful, I don't know what to do. I'm angry at her for putting me in this situation

>>6408
I was molested as a child, too. I understand that. I simply disagree that incest is, itself, "wrong." The truth is, man, there is no real morality. Morals are simply strong opinions people hold on certain things. It's all in your head. Morals are not objective they are simply collective opinion. I am sorry you are going through what you are going through, though, OP. I hope you can actually get it worked out. Your mom is wrong for doing what she did to you and I am sorry to hear that. have you thought about contacting the police?

>>6409
I won't get into that, it's another topic entirely, but I'm not a moral relativist. I don't believe things are "just in my head"
and right now I'm just confused. stunned. I don't wanna narc on her. she fucked up big time, but it's still my mother and I don't want her hurting either

What'd she do to you?

>>6411
we made out, fondled each others' genitals and did heavy petting
I remember it felt awful but great at the same time. I still have this fucked up paraphilia but yesterday late night I remembered it all and broke down crying

>>6412
oh and today too, at therapy

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I'm fucking sick
before going to sleep I remembered it all again and wanked to it
help me

The one thing that unites us all is that the past is passed. Nothing can change what happened, but so long as there are no physical scars to mark the event, it is LITERALLY ALL IN YOUR HEAD. Everyone has regrets, often of shit they couldn't control for one reason or another. Sometimes it's over things that happened, sometimes it's over things that DIDN'T happen (like anon other there wishing that what happened to you happened to him). Either way, it's the same. Regardless of what did or did not happen, it's OVER. It's DONE. It's FINISHED. It can't be changed and cannot have any further effect on you unless you allow it to.

>I always thought that it was something that "just happened"
That's what you need to go back to. Your therapist is probably telling you about how you're a poor little boy who was abused and harmed and hurt and fucked up and blah blah blah. Don't listen to that shit. Look, if you start believing that you are a victim, YOU WILL ALWAYS BE A VICTIM! It doesn't fucking matter what happened yesterday; it only matters what you do tomorrow. That's your choice.

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>>6415
are you a catholic priest? because you sound just like one

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>>6406
OP, do not listen to this >>6415 gritty anon. Therapists which are at least somewhat competent in trauma therapy and which you feel comfortable around should be able to either help you or direct you to someone who can help you cope with what happened. Some people with certain mindset might overcome things like this on their own, but it's no shame to seek help. Not listening to therapists or not going to the therapy at all would be generally a bad move, unless you're really feeling that your sessions are going nowhere for some time.

You are now probably in a phase where you are reliving and recalling what happened very vividly and it's possibly too much to handle. This will eventually pass, but in the meantime, here are some suggestions how to prevent yourself from overthinking it. If you have someone who you feel close with, it would be good if you could spend some time with them (you don't have to share with them what happened). If you have some sort of daily routine that you find some joy in (job, school, hobbies), try to keep it up, unless you feel like it is weighing you down too much. At the same time, try to do something new - read a novel, watch a nature documentary, explore the city or nature around the place you live in, write down your thoughts into a diary just for yourself.

And please, definitely stay in touch with a therapist. It's really best to think about the questions of why it happened and what did it mean with them, not with strangers on an imageboard.

Something similar happened to me (although not by someone as close as a parent and I didn't realize it suddenly, but gradually) and I've been dealing with it and the consequences for the past 2 years, so although our situation is not really comparable, I can speak from some experience. If you have any questions, feel free to ask.

Stay safe, OP.

>>6420
thank you so much for your advice, I feel that people here haven't taken me seriously

I am going to therapy and still want to. and some day I want to share this with someone close, it's part of my history and my affections should know it. maybe I'm not ready yet, but I will be
right now thankfully I'm trying to keep myself occupied too. that's why I've been overworking, I guess. I really need to take things down a notch, it's not healthy

everything's going downhill too, man. my job. my friends. this girl I'm seeing. bunch of other stuff too. this is getting harder and harder. but I gotta keep going. dunno why, I just gotta. for myself, I guess

again, thank you for everything. I have no questions right now, but please keep in touch okay? I could really use your advice

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>>6421

>I feel that people here haven't taken me seriously

Some people here are just riding the edgy wave and can't be expected to take this seriously. Can't really blame them though, /grim/ is a board primarily dedicated to them. Also, it usually takes some empathy and/or similar personal experience to understand. Not everyone has that, and that's fine too.

It's really nice that you are committed to the therapy and keeping yourself active, although overworking is not the healthiest coping mechanism. Keeping a balanced and healthy daily schedule can really help a lot, but it might be tiring and difficult to maintain - especially these days, if you are also in an area affected by a quarantine.

Sorry to hear that things suck at the moment. Don't let yourself get dragged down by it. Things always get better, sooner or later. Even if you get into a situation that might at the time seem like an end of the line for you, you'll realize in the hindsight that there is always a way how to pull through. And if you keep going for the sake of yourself, that's a good start.

No problem, man. Thank you for sharing. I lurk around here regularly, so just write here and I'll answer. Or we can hook up on Dis.c0rd or somewhere, if you want.

>>6425
well yesteday I talked to my bros and I feel a lot better. plus things in my job now don't seem as grim as they did. little by little, things will keep going as normal

still, knowing this it's just so hard to digest. I still don't even know how to cope with it. I want to talk about it to people close to me, but I still don't know how to drop the bomb. I don't wanna name my mom either
anyways, my d1s,kord is HeladoDeLocro#2852. thanks for offering your kindness

Was your mom hot?

>>6420
Therapists are human, too. And like any other human they are privy to groupthink about being molested being the worst fate that can befall someone, worse than being tortured and mutilated and crippled. I've known people who went into therapy as functioning human beings with a minor sexual hangup from childhood, and came out a simpering useless mess convinced that they were broken people who were irrevocably tainted by the most hellish crime and would never be able to have a normal sexual relationship. People who thought that they simply had a sexual playmate (often another child), only to end up told that they were actually abused and hurt and what happened was wrong and evil.

When I was a kid I got molested by my cousin who is like 5 years older than I am. I choose to not give a shit because it's in the past. I could wallow in misery over the fact that the first sexual experience I had was with my cousin and that he betrayed by trust and used me for his own pleasure and blah blah blah. Or I could just not.

Americans have this utterly retarded obsession with virginity and the purity of sex. As if the first place you ever put your dick changes it in some fundamental way and therefore affects what you can do with it later.


>>6421
I am treating you seriously. And I'm being as serious as I can be, brutally serious. I don't even gain anything by doing this. You know what your therapist treats you as?

A paycheck.

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>>6430

I'm an eurofag, so I can't really speak about therapists in the US or the bizzare attitude of Americans on sexuality but my experience with therapy was completely different (maybe also because psychotherapy where I live is covered by public health insurance). While other people saw me just as a hapless victim, therapists that I've went to actually treated me with respect and focused first on solving the symptoms so I can normally function, and then on processing the underlying trauma. Never did they try to reinforce my own perception of myself as a victim. Never did I feel like I am just a paycheck to them. Tbh, it's pretty cynical to think that people who do mental health therapy (or any people in healthcare generally) do it simply for the money. Some people genuinely want to help others.

If you managed to cope with the sexual abuse without requiring outside help, I'm happy for you and respect that, but I'm afraid not everybody can do that. Some people just aren't so resilient, some abuse can be worse than other, some people have to deal with other issues besides the abuse. Advice to just toughen up and don't let it get to you is not suitable for everyone, same as advicing someone with depression to just cheer up.

I was sexually molested by my 14 year old cousin when I was 8. This continued for two years and while there were some elements of mutually consensual sex play, she also sometimes forced me into stuff I didn't like and threatened me to not talk about it to anyone. When it ended, I didn't think much of it, didn't talk about it with anyone, but gradually it started to get to me and when I enrolled to university, it got to the point where I couldn't function normally because of anxiety, insomnia, feelings of shame and guilt, fucked up sexuality and generally feeling like a piece of shit.

When I finally came out to some people that I trusted, most of them either victimized me or missed the point completely ('you should be glad that you found out about sex so early'), but one persuaded me to visit university psych counselor, who booked me to an appointment with a specialized therapist who then helped me to get out of the worst shit.

So maybe you understand why I don't agree with you on this one.

>>6426 By the way OP, I've sent you a request, so feel free to add me.

>>6414
Lol, just accept you wanna fuck your mom, fag.
If you didn't believe in morality this wouldn't matter.
Kill your super ego faggot. Embrace your true self.

>>6432
Mental illness is often treated as a personal failing rather than a health condition in America. While not having suitable ability to pay for medical expenses out-of-pocket can often be covered by state insurance if it's deemed "medically necessary", need for psychiatric care is very difficult to prove. Aside from that, it's a Catch-22. In order to get the state to pay for your therapy, you need to prove you have a mental illness or impairment; but in order to prove it, you need a doctor to say you have it. Which also costs money (and, being America, thousands of dollars). If you don't have the money to being with, you can't do anything.

On top of that, there's the generally accepted "fact" in America that child molesters (aka pedophiles) are always people who were, themselves, molested as children. Admitting that you were molested makes everyone (even the so-called professionals) wary that you're a risk to become a molester. Therapists pick and choose their patients; they have neither unlimited time nor unlimited resources. If they feel they aren't going to be able to help, or are afraid you might commit a crime, they'll show you the door. They can either choose to treat a trust-fund teenage girl with anorexia, or some impoverished dude who might be a pedophile. You can't even blame them for taking the easy choice.

>>6430
>Americans [...] with virginity and the purity of sex
I am an Eurofriend tho.

>>6406
>now i feel this was evil
Could you verbalize why? Know yourself

I think you should just confront you mom. Then you can each try to honestly express how you feel, what happened to you and how you feel moving forward. Life isn't easy but unanswered questions will only leave you to fill in the blanks subjectively.