/grim/ - Cold, Grim & Miserable

Homelessness and Wandering the States Edgar Anon Poe 22/11/26(Sat)10:12 No. 6905 ID: 024284 [Reply]

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Real quick, I'm a schizophrenic NEET on disability but because Murica I do not make enough to live off of on my own. I've always had to take roommates to share the rent with, and because most people don't do that for free, it's usually a romantic partner I move in with. Because I'm vulnerable and stupid, I end up falling for a person who hurts me, or even starts beating me and insulting me just to put me down. So I run away. I call a friend somewhere else in the States who can move me somewhere else, and then it starts again. I meet a person, they hurt me, I leave.

You get the point, basically. Medicaid is state based, so when you move elsewhere, you need to reapply for that state's version of Medicaid. As I've already been to half the states in the country, and already moved twice this year, it's been very hard to keep my medical benefits steady (they can take up to 100 days to approve an applicant after the forms are filled out or, if you have SSI, respond to a change of address.)

I can't get my meds right now so it's harder and harder to go outside, I can barely get food, and might be moving again in another few months too.

My family says they're willing to house and feed me and take care of the cost of my medicine, but the only stipulation is that I cannot bring anyone home with me. The problem with this is that I'm extremely codependent, too broken to live for my own sake, so I need someone to lean on and be my purpose. But after 6 or 7 consecutive relationships that turned abusive, I'm really just thinking there isn't much hope for me living comfortably, or doing anything other than struggling like an animal every day to survive.

Are there any other diagnosed schizophrenics here whose conditions are severely disabling? If so, I'd love to know how you're all getting by, because I'm having a really tough time out here. (pic unrelated, just a drawing I did when I moved here)

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Edgar Anon Poe 22/11/30(Wed)13:17 No. 6914 ID: cfd7be

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I'm not a full blown skito but it runs in my family and I have had vivid experiences where I have hear voices. Only a handful of times but I think this could be the onset of my genetic predispostion to it, anywho; I'll tell you what every therapist has told me: Change the narrative you tell yourself. It seems lame but it really is the only thing that truly works. Read some stoics like Marcus Aurelius and learn how to control your reactions to your emotions better because the truth is that the world is a cold and dark place and doesn't give a shit about you or anyone and will do everything in its power to try and kill you and will if you let it.

You are a meaningless spec floating through an infinite cosmos. Just choose to be ok the best you can. I understand what its like to be on food stamps and be codependent with an abusive partner and that is what has helped me regain my independence. That and an insatiable thirst for the truth and this is what I have come to realize. Good luck.

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Edgar Anon Poe 22/12/21(Wed)03:54 No. 6924 ID: 612e19

We've met. Maybe not you, but somebody just like you. We were friends for a while, and you helped me through a tough time. I want nothing more than to go back to that, and repay it. I can work again with the meds I'm taking, I have a house and health insurance. But she's gone, and I'm alone. Maybe the answer is to trust your family. Let the co-dependence fall through until you are hopeless and all you have is them to protect you from yourself. Because everybody is somebody's everything. Nobody is nothing. I love you anon.

i need a friend lonelybros Edgar Anon Poe 22/11/27(Sun)19:29 No. 6906 ID: 179f27 [Reply]

Replies: >>6915

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posting this is really soy but im not exactly a socialite and i have no friends. on my mother's fax machine i have 0 added friends and im in 1 server (ghetto smosh official) and on iMessage i have my dealer & my nigger hating uncle. i need some tips on how to talk to people and meet people online or IRL. i am a catatonic schizophrenic so that also really fucks with my ability to branch out. ive tried finding people with similar interests but i dont know where to find people and honest to god i just need someone to fucking talk to. also i got banned from og runescape yesterday for calling someone a boot lipped porch monkey so ive been extra down in the dumps. i just need a buddy i promise im really super cool

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Edgar Anon Poe 22/11/30(Wed)13:19 No. 6915 ID: cfd7be Replies: >>6920

>>6906
What kind of server is it?

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Edgar Anon Poe 22/12/10(Sat)09:52 No. 6920 ID: 179f27 Replies: >>6923

>>6915
made new account
lurker#0309

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Edgar Anon Poe 22/12/13(Tue)12:47 No. 6923 ID: f131e7

>>6920
>my mother's fax machine

No thanks. Get a my mother's fax machine bridge and i'd turn up.

so alone transporter319 21/03/31(Wed)11:02 No. 6620 ID: d3d7d7 [Reply]

Replies: >>6720

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I feel more alone than ever how do I cope? I would love to be in the arms of a woman but they want nothing to do with me. I am 41 my loveless life makes me feel so hopeless. A woman called me an incel recently and it stung so bad because it was absolutely true. I haven't had much luck with the ladies but it's even harder to smash right now with the pandemic. It's taking a toll on my life I don't see the light at the end of the tunnel either

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Edgar Anon Poe 22/01/15(Sat)00:58 No. 6720 ID: 182caf

>>6620
You have doing it wrong all the time. To have a couple should never be a worry for a man. You are just feedfing the same black hole in your soul that lures you into chasing illusions. You 41? What you should really be worried about is that filth inside you...

Were you ever happy as child, when you didn't think about sex nor infatuation? Your mind is sick with worthless desires

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sad loser transporter319 22/11/29(Tue)12:49 No. 6911 ID: 5db423 Replies: >>6912

update I am still alone and worthless. I am just like those losers women complain about on tiktok though I'm actually nice and charming

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Edgar Anon Poe 22/11/29(Tue)17:14 No. 6912 ID: 990371

>>6911
>nice and charming
Self-loathing and being miserable are not nice and charming.

Goin' down to website Edgar Anon Poe 22/09/29(Thu)15:46 No. 6863 ID: 758daa [Reply]

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Im pickin' up website

Kid with fish says n word Anomynous 22/09/05(Mon)06:46 No. 6856 ID: 33df40 [Reply]

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This image has been circling all around Instagram and Tiktok, and nobody seems to give a fuck that he said the n word? Normies don’t care? Is he just a valid sigma?

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Edgar Anon Poe 22/09/16(Fri)13:55 No. 6862 ID: f9fa52

>The joker face paint

Shaman 22/08/23(Tue)01:04 No. 6844 ID: 7eed0e [Reply]

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everything is becoming grey....q

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Edgar Anon Poe 22/08/23(Tue)01:16 No. 6845 ID: 838b0b

Bro
you live in fucking slovak city or some junk?

Fuck my life Edgar Anon Poe 19/12/07(Sat)22:36 No. 6285 ID: 35dbea [Reply]

Replies: >>6762

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I’m literally going to die alone, no guy will ever date me. I thought I looked cute in this photo but nope, below a 4. Why was I cursed with being ugly? I will literally die alone never knowing love simply cause of how I look. Ugliness is a curse.

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Edgar Anon Poe 22/03/17(Thu)05:43 No. 6755 ID: ad53d6

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I think you look cute

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Edgar Anon Poe 22/03/21(Mon)07:24 No. 6762 ID: 6e70ec

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>>6285
You look good, if you think you look awkward when smiling, well...
You should have in mind everyone (or at least the majority of
people) have an awkward smile, you have braces from what I am
seeing, that's actually good, because your smile will look really
good in the aftermath.
Don't be so rude with yourself, I am not going to tell you "you
are beautiful", because what's beautiful for me might not be for
the person who I pay taxes to, just take care of your skin even though from what I am seeing your skin looks like is all right, try to not get obsessed with the shape of your nose, the thickness of your lips or the shape of your eyes, is not about being your self but about not being someone you are not.

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Darth+Musturd 22/05/17(Tue)06:38 No. 6799 ID: 1c5a16

Honestly you don't look half bad. Ive seen ulgier'na hound dog and I've seen Purdy'er'n my first cousin.

Seriously though, I've seen this chick around my local area. She's ugly. I think she's strange as well. She has 2 boyfriends that "share" her.

4 is "below average" but only barely. And people are really really bad at judging things on an out of 5 or out of 10 scale. We have these weird biases. It's hard to explain but being slightly below average doesn't make you ugly. Being slightly above average doesn't make you hot. It's basically average.

Cheer up against the cold, femanon. Just do the best you can at life. Work hard and eventually, maybe tomorrow, maybe in a month, a year, a decade, or even in the final days of your life, good things will come. You reap what you sow.

May your curses become your blessings,
Darth Musturd

Music of /grim/ Edgar Anon Poe 19/10/21(Mon)15:24 No. 6229 ID: 602775 [Reply]

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William Basinski - The disintegration loops

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mjnAE5go9dI

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Edgar Anon Poe 22/03/28(Mon)08:44 No. 6768 ID: 212ae6

good

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Edgar Anon Poe 22/04/23(Sat)07:14 No. 6786 ID: 273d68

https://youtu.be/pZoWQz1YaI4 almonds

truly miserable Nyam 22/03/20(Sun)15:40 No. 6756 ID: b75f5b [Reply]

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17 yr old w no hope in life, addicted to a multitude of drugs and desperate for attention. My only happiness is showing my tits to men online or making out with boys in my schools parking lot. Room is a disgusting depression hole with rotting food and bloody tissues. Already been to the mental hospital once for anorexia, still diagnosed with depression anxiety autism and anorexia. Can’t wait to end it all for good.

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Nyam 22/03/21(Mon)22:46 No. 6763 ID: b75f5b

>>6760

I cook for myself occasionally, and back when I had more friends I cooked for them too. I’m actually doing alright with the anorexia, so food doesn’t bother me too much. And my room is just kinda disgusting lol, clothes and food everywhere.it could honestly be cute if I cleaned it up. But I just can’t bring myself to atm. It’s not unlivable or a hoarder situation by any means, just needs some work. It’s a pretty classic girls room I’d say. Lots of stuffed animals ad pink bedding and whatever

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Edgar Anon Poe 22/04/10(Sun)20:00 No. 6771 ID: 682471

>>6760
Hi want to get married?

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Edgar Anon Poe 22/04/17(Sun)19:15 No. 6773 ID: 60b350

Are you still alive? Just curious.

? Anon 22/03/28(Mon)02:50 No. 6765 ID: 15947a [Reply]

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wat dis?

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Anon 22/03/28(Mon)02:52 No. 6766 ID: 15947a

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Still confused

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Anon 22/03/28(Mon)03:24 No. 6767 ID: 15947a

+639773505515

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Edgar Anon Poe 22/04/06(Wed)17:51 No. 6769 ID: 1b0c89

An LTC or possible BTC address and the amount of a transaction (12.6)