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I feel like I can't commit to anything long term. I just get bored or discouraged at the effort required. The longest thing I committed to was EVE online and I got good at that but then I got bored.
I'm doing alright for myself now but I can't shake this feeling of perpetual boredom. I go to work, do the bare minimum with enough scattered moments of taking on a challenge to prove my worth such that I'm kept on board.
I want to be a software developer. I want to lose 20 lbs. I want to gain muscle. I want to be interesting. I want to meet new people.
I've gotten close to all these things. I'm an application developer. I lost 8 lbs. I gained some muscle. People seem to like me. I have a solid group of friends. But the thing is, achieving your goals requires full, focused effort. I'm not so sure I can pull them off given my previous track record. And even if I do, will I have the energy to maintain it?
Everyday is blurring by, John. I used to think I had so much time so I wasted it, procrastinated it. And now while I'm not old by any means, I can see the trend, that time starts to accelerate the older we get and especially the more monotonous our lives become.
Meh. Anyhow, thanks for listening John. I've always taken comfort knowing that no matter how many things in my life change over the years, of where I end up, I'll always have this little corner of the internet to come back to.
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