Convince me they're not.

>>4943
no evidence that they exist

>>4944
There's no evidence that they don't.

Who said anything about zombies being real in the first place? They're fictional creatures. This is like asking someone to prove that elves are real, ghosts are real, or Eskimos are real.

>>4946
>They're fictional creatures.
Other 'fictional' creatures of note:
Platypus,
Komodo Dragon,
Kangaroo,
Giant Squid,
Okapi.

Zombies do exist, the namesake originated in Voodoo culture. The american bastardisation however, is a different thing.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Go_LIz7kTok

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QKxQpKKobz4
protip: more than 60% of humans are unknowing hosts of it

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-moG6JDmJdc

>>4947

Valid points, sir. However in a forum such as this I assume that 'zombie' refers to the phenomenon we know from popular culture, such as Romero shamblers or WWZ 'you-are-so-fucked' superhuman Olympic-athlete bounding corpses. In short, walking dead folks who are trying to eat you; none of that infected '28 Days' nonsense...those are NOT zombies.

So, Voodoo zombies; not fictional (though I think there is a well established scientific explanation now that does not involve reanimation of the dead).
Undead cannibal zombies as seen in movies and on TV; sorry, that's as fictional as a thing can get. Except for maybe the platypus; you KNOW that shit has to be made up!

I can't convince you zombies are real (because they're not), but I can put forth a an amusing idea:

According to the multiverse theory there is an infinite number of realities, each with their own slight variations; the further these parallel realities deviate from out own, the greater the differences - which extends even to the rules of physics. Now in addition to the multiverse theory is the fictional realism hypothesis, which basically just says that because there is an infinite number of parallel universes, it is inevitable that there exists a universe where our fictional characters actually exist exactly as we describe them (just as we exist exactly as someone living in a zombie-infested reality would describe a zombie-free universe).

So if the multiverse theory is correct and is exactly as described, then it stands to reason there is a universe out there where zombies are real.

The hypothesis cannot be proven or disproven, but the theory can be; currently physicists are looking for specific shapes in cosmic background radiation as indicators that parallel universes intersect from time to time (basic reasoning is CMBs should be fairly uniform and the only thing that can interfere with CMBs - and thus cause those distinctive shapes - is other CMB, which can only be introduced by a Big Bang event or another reality butting into ours).

>>4958 According to the theory, there is a universe out there where Tony Todd and Patricia Tallman are holed up in a Pennsylvania farmhouse surrounded by zeds, a universe where Milla Jovovich is flying around slaughtering walking corpses with the T-Virus coursing through her delectable veins, a universe where Brad Pitt (of all people) is even now saving his Earth from the plague. This theory is particularly disturbing...because there is also a universe out there where you and I and everyone we know and love are already dead and shambling. But that's okay; there's also a universe out there where we are both well-hung billionaires with wings!

Have anyone bought up the theory of a evolutionary virus mutation? A virus that evolves but the consumption of dead organic material to the point where it recreates an lifeform that it can be called a zombie. After all we're all but living laboratories that has the ability evolve. Global warming, polution, drastic environmental changes, etc.... Maybe the next dominant species could be walking carp that eat and mate all the time.

>>4959
Fortunately (or unfortunately) I recall a physicist theorizing that intersection events should only occur between parallel universes that were close together, so any universe that's different enough with rules of physics that support the shambling dead is too far out to intersect with outs.

Well, theoretically. Given an infinite number of cases even the impossible could become possible.

>>4960
>walking carp that eat and mate all the time.
If you're looking for horny fishmen then "Humanoids from the Deep" might be up your alley.

That being said, a virus isn't a likely candidate for two reasons: first is that it's not a living organism by itself, it's just a bit of DNA in a protein sheathe, so its only evolutionary mechanism is bogarting DNA from the host (in the simplest term, a virus cannot become a zombie virus unless it infects someone who is already zombie, but even then it's impossible for it to inherit everything that would recreate that zombie); the second reason is viruses only attack specific cells because the protein sheathe is "keyed" to those cells - there is no universally accepted protein "key" and viruses can't alter the sheathe by themselves, so you'll never see a single virus that can infect every cell (or even a majority, which would be required to turn an person into a zombie) - it would have to be an entire spectrum of viruses, each targeting different cells in the body, each with a specific fragment of "zombie" DNA that will work in conjunction with the other virus packages (which is impossible to occur naturally, it would most certainly have to be artificially produces and administered).

tl;dr: Viruses don't work that way.

Larry Niven wrote a Sci-Fi story called 'Mispec Moor' set on a planet in another system that has been settled by humans from Earth. In this far future setting, the protagonist finds himself defending a rock from an army of shambling, decomposing dead folks. Straight out of Romero.

It turns out that an indigenous life-form has evolved to restore movement to a corpse in order to spread itself; naturally anyone that the corpse bites becomes infected. The story is creepy as hell, but the author makes the walking dead into a scientifically explainable phenomenon, after which defeating them is simplicity itself. It is a very unique and imaginative story.

The moral is that while the organism is not a virus, it brings home the fact that life can take infinite forms, and some of those forms are unpleasant as Hell. Natural selection, evolution, mutation...these carry no moral imperative; change does NOT have to be for the better, and often is very bad indeed for existing forms of life trying to compete with the newcomer. Just ask the Neanderthal.

So...we never know when somebody is going to kick over the wrong rock and release a 'Mispec Moor' virus or bacterium or fungus and turn George A. Romero into a fucking prophet. What fun!

File 139029105385.png - (165.15KB , 484x154 , antidepressants.png )

Proof

>>4942
convince me you are real, and not a computer

protip, you cant

I seem to recall reading that if a person was infected with rabies through the nasal cavity (unlikely, but possible) the effects would be very similar to a Romero zombie (shuffling gate, doesn't recognize friends/family, uncontrollable hunger, rage, etc...). The effects would only last until the virus killed the person (few days?) and would be hard to spread, but it it is possible.

Proof: Rabies
Spreads via bodily fluids, causes violent, canabilistic behavior, full cure not yet available

Mix it with the flu and necrotizing facieitis and it's a complete zpocalypse virus

WIN

Come on north Korea you know you want to

File 13971294744.jpg - (194.04KB , 800x600 , world_war_n.jpg )

Zombies are real, it's just that they're usually called Niggers.

I mean, I can't fathom how you could watch these niggers invade Spain and not feel reminded of World War Z:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9QbMv9OSivk

>>5049

So...we have a Zombie President and Attorney General? Come to think of it, that would explain a lot...

>>5033

This.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rabies

All it take to have the zombie agent is a mutation or a combination or a horizontal transmission with another virus.

It activate the nervous system against the will of the victim, one bite contaminate you, except for some extremely lucky bastards it is fatal...

The only missing thing is a correct cardiovascular steering after the brain death. There is only one step between us and zombs. A big one, but still only one.

Bassui wrote the following letter to one of his disciples who was about to die:

The essence of your mind is not born, so it will never die. It is not an existence, which is perishable. It is not an emptiness, which is a mere void. It has neither color nor form. It enjoys no pleasures and suffers no pains.

"I know you are very ill. Like a good Zen student, you are facing that sickness squarely. You may not know exactly who is suffering, but question yourself: What is the essence of this mind? Think only of this. You will need no more. Covet nothing. Your end which is endless is as a snowflake dissolving in the pure air. Your end, is the beginning, of zombie-hood.

Bassui wrote the following letter to one of his disciples who was about to die:

The essence of your mind is not born, so it will never die. It is not an existence, which is perishable. It is not an emptiness, which is a mere void. It has neither color nor form. It enjoys no pleasures and suffers no pains.

"I know you are very ill. Like a good Zen student, you are facing that sickness squarely. You may not know exactly who is suffering, but question yourself: What is the essence of this mind? Think only of this. You will need no more. Covet nothing. Your end which is endless is as a snowflake dissolving in the pure air. Your end, is the beginning, of zombie-hood.

File 140390823354.jpg - (27.37KB , 480x300 , 1402303800895.jpg )

>>5050
>so... we have a zombie president?
What, you didn't notice it yet?