So, your sidekick in a zombie apocalypse is a zombie...

>>any famous figure (living or dead)
L2R

>>3233

Read it fine. If he was dead and he's now walking around he must be a zombie. How else would you explain him walking around?

In regards to "dead" people, insert warp in time-space continuum, magic, whatever you want. For the purpose of this thread, assume "dead" people are alive and well (physical prime when they were alive). This is more of a hypothetical/fun thread. Please don't kill with ZOMFGREALISM. There are plenty of realism threads throughout board. You don't see me going in there, pointing out how Zeds, by their very nature are a biological impossibility, and will never happen outside of fiction. Please contribute or move on.

>For the purpose of this thread, assume "dead" people are alive and well (physical prime when they were alive).

So, no zombies?

Yes, zombies. But not your sidekick.

Unless they get bit of course.

Would I be right to assume that they're automatically friendly towards me and we're fully capable of understanding each other? I imagine someone like Genghis Kahn could be problematic if that wasn't the case.

For the purposes of this thread, yes.

I'm also adding natural immunities to the current environment (I don't want to kill Gehngis with a cold).

>>3246
I'm going to guess that's a yes...

As such, and with careful deliberation, I've settled on my sidekick, I'm going to go with Cliff the Triceratops. Teddy may be good but I think Cliff is a better choice, for starters he brings a LOT of muscle to any situation, he's a herbivore so I don't have to worry about sharing my food with him too much and I'm pretty sure most raiders would be VERY cautious of a man riding round on an ARMOURED FUCKING DINOSAUR (yes I'll make him some armour). I'll also get a little comfort knowing that once we've kicked the bucket any remaining survivors run the risk of being taken out by a rampaging armoured zombie dinosaur.

File removed.png - (175.10KB , 552x414 , cant-tell-if-troll-or-not_jpg.png )

>>3247

All badassery aside, how exactly would you manage to train a several ton animal that has never seen a human being before to do your bidding without crushing and/or impaling you?

>>3248

See:
>>3244
>>3245
That's why I clarified that beforehand.

Additional rule: And must be human. Fix'd.

>>3254
Spoil sport.

Additional Rule
If the elected individual is alpha to you, you become their sidekick!

>>3255
Amendment to the addition:
You cannot pick a celebrity or famous figure who would be an Alpha to you in a Zombie Apocalypse Situation. Such figures would simply not be content to either follow or work alongside you. It should also be noted that Sergeant Bruce Willis may pick anybody he so chooses without conflicting with this rule as he is the very epitome of a zombie apocalypse survivor and by result the prime alpha to which all alphas fall beta.

File 133817895342.jpg - (123.10KB , 450x360 , 133306382978.jpg )

Rose wolfe.

She may not be experienced in survival, but intuition tells me she probably has handled a firearm before and has a basic understanding (IE which end goes boom). I am a survival enthusiast, once spent two weeks living completely on my own with only some wax cotton twine, a knife, bowl, several cans of food, and a tent. I could fill her in on the survival portion, and catch more than enough small game, and perhaps even large, to feed us both. Once we find a very secluded remote spot, the incessant boning can begin.

pick a real historical figure who is currently living or dead, to go along with during a zombie apocalypse, as a sidekick, magically alive again if need be


you may pick people who are alpha to you

all people will be treated as more or less a 1st world north american or european in regards to resistances to diseases

I pick OP as my sidekick, he's gonna be flustered all the time and it'll be great to use his nerdiness for shit I don't feel like doing while I make all the important decisions while he flusters

or instead, I pick your mom, for obvious reasons

or maybe the real life inspiration for robinson crusoe

or osama bin laden because he'd know how to make cool things with almost nothing, like bombs and stuff, zombie guts everywhere, I'd probably have to explain to him that we're in america and noone can stop him and he'd just do all the work himself for almost nothing

File 134216689698.jpg - (25.99KB , 447x335 , 392707627.jpg )

>>3537
Lol'd a little. Not gonna lie.

It's good to see a little humor from a board which suffers from chronic this
|
|
V

>>What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.

>>Funny on /b/
>>Hilarious here because our internet tough guys truly expect you to believe each and every word

(USER WAS BANNED FOR THIS POST)

This thread died when the Triceratops trumped Teddy.

Bear Grylls
Former SAS and an survival expert.
Famous from Discovery Channel

>>3849
Thats a good idea because you wouldn't need to share your water with him.

File 135083696551.png - (457.67KB , 1500x1374 , iseewhatyoudidthere.png )

>>3853

I mcan't believe no one said Dolph Lundgren

Are there any other famous dinosaurs apart from Barney and Cliff? If not I'll pick Wojtek the bear, I mean, why not...

File 13513830646.jpg - (16.26KB , 432x359 , lesstroud1.jpg )

I'd prefer someone with some actual survival skills and who is quite adept at teaching them.

File 135140604151.jpg - (97.39KB , 360x270 , dual-survival.jpg )

cody and dave from dual survival, they come as a package right? if not then rudy reyes

These survivalists aren't at all what I would pick... I'm not a "master" survivalist but I'm extremely close to what many would consider, so who would I choose? I would choose a beautiful, sexy woman that knows how to take my cock and show me and it how much she appreciates my abilities with her holes; vigorously making me ache in the best and dirtiest of ways.

Shaka kaSenzangakhona a.k.a. Shaka Zulu.

File 9gLN3QoN-q8.ytb - (0B )

>>3914
All I see is "Squeel boy, squeel!"

Rasputin.

Fucker won't die, no matter how many times you kill him. Handy in a world overrun with the living dead.

File 135697026424.jpg - (8.09KB , 275x183 , jessica ennis.jpg )

Jess Ennis I reckon, (The heptathlon gold medalist for those of you not from blighty) Shes a peak physical speciman, a perfect balance of strength, speed and endurance so shes gonna be handy when it comes to the inevitable defending against waves of zombies. Also shes a female so not gonna Alpha me, and fuck it we are two of the last people on earth so gonna have a half decent chance of getting laid at some point right? Enjoy jerking off with Teddy Roosevelt...

File 135719661044.jpg - (61.42KB , 468x746 , 1324844624037.jpg )

She doesnt need a name...

Simo Häyhä- Finnish sniper

The dude killed 500 soviets in less than 100 days, lived in sub-zero temperatures, and managed to survive an air strike. I think the zombies wouldn't be a problem for him.

Obama

Dem drones.

File 136148300661.jpg - (100.54KB , 380x485 , Halflife 2 Gordon Freeman 4.jpg )

>>4338
Gordon Freeman.
He takes down whole armies and masses of zombies by himself. And that's without a actual firearm.
(Besides, look at him. LOOK AT HIM!)

>>4351
not to mention the fact that he takes on headcrabs without a helmet. So we can assume that he's immune to zombification as well.

>>4351
>>4383
Yea Ill give you this one. He's a bad ass by general human standards.

you know what OP. sounds like Teddy Roosevelt could make you his sidekick. i mean, what could you bring to the table that he can't?

File 138060186255.jpg - (177.73KB , 872x1105 , YuanEmperorAlbumGenghisPortrait.jpg )

>>3244 hit on the right idea. I mean, this guy did conquer everything from Vietnam to Vienna, and efficiently slaughtered untold hundreds of thousands along the way. And he rose to power by his own wit, courage, and skill. As for the Alpha vs. Beta thing...kind'a figured that the greatest military commander in the history of the human race is going to be Alpha, and I am cool with that!

genghis won't be so alpha when I introduce him to KFC... he'll be a boomer soon enough


I've got to admit, gordon freeman makes people with glasses, a short haircut and one of those little beard thingies, while being skinny

not look bad at all, especially with the way he just starts crowbarring faces when shit hits the fan

and sometimes, he just crowbars the fan

File 138127191276.jpg - (1.75MB , 4379x5284 , Joe_DiMaggio_salutes_his_bat.jpg )

>>3229
Don't know dude probably bill murray. Maybe even Starscream or uncle Leonard.

Jesus Christ
Turns undead, provides infinite fish, bread and wine and can cure any ailments (including infection).

/Amen

>>4839
WINNER!

>>4839
Honestly boring. "Lol, I just choose literal God". This is the kind of choice that makes the other eleven-year-olds not want to play with you anymore.

File 159296181667.jpg - (83.72KB , 794x1024 , 0qjmyt0y6fb41.jpg )

>>5689
If that's how this is gonna be then I pick Rick Sanchez. He'll just fix my zombie problem globally and then bounce to his own reality, leaving me to my planet of corpses. But at least I won't have a zombie problem anymore!