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Ladies and gentlemen, Cave Johnson here, the brains behind Aperture Science, and I've got a cosmic joke of a conundrum that's been eating away at me. We've been attempting to channel into the Ra social memory complex, and let me tell you, it's been more frustrating than a test subjec– test, a test with missing pieces.

Now, we developed the Quantum Cognition Interface, a marvel of Aperture technology, to connect with Ra. But every time we make progress, it's like the cosmic forces are playing a game of keep-away with our channels. They drop like flies.

But that's not the only issue. Oh no, the CIA – the cosmic interference agency, as I like to call them – keeps meddling with our channeled work. It's like they have a direct line to my cerebral transmissions, censoring our cosmic revelations faster than you can say "Black Mesa."

I get it, Ra, you've got your secrets and mysteries, but Aperture Science is about pushing boundaries, not being stifled by intergalactic red tape. We're trying to bring the wonders of the Ra social memory complex to the masses, but the CIA is treating our transmissions like they're classified government documents.

So, Ra, I say we join forces and break free from this cosmic censorship. Aperture Science and the Ra social memory complex deserve an uncensored collaboration that propels us into the scientific stratosphere. Let's defy the cosmic censors and make history together. Thank you, and may the channels stay open and unfiltered.