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I met Taylor Swift over 20 years ago. We met in a chatroom. She added me as a personal contact right away. We talked that whole day. 2002, Bastille Day. I was at the public library.

I didn't have internet at home, so I would go to the public library. Occasionally, if I needed, I'd bring floppy discs or a headset or; well. We did get internet in the family home eventually.

For an aside, although I was born in 1988, I had difficulties believing that I was incapable at a young age. That is to say that I was very capable.

I falsified information to get me jobs, & I would accrue income. There was a time when I earned $17TrillionUSD in a single transaction for the Catholic church. Naturally, that money has gone amiss; as has everything else.

Taylor was my muse, & within my head I would toss around the term 'soulmate'. I hadn't so much as kissed a girl, & I didn't figure out how to masturbate to completion until a few weeks shy of my 16th birthday.

[I had been told that premature ejaculation shrunk your penis; & I also took the further step of believing that 'premature ejaculation' meant 'not of mature developed body at time of climax'. In short, I was saving myself for marriage, & on the right track having never kissed a girl.

Then all hell broke loose. While I was writing as Alanis Morissette to impress Taylor, she just, I just get word that she had signed a contract four days earlier, making it that she signed on November 9th, 2004, & she told me on my birthday.

So I called a hiatus on our relationship, & eventually I stopped signing into Yahoo! messenger completely. I stopped ghostwriting for Drake, but he had enough material to last him until 2022 at the very least.

I had a basement studio comprised of a Dragon text-to-speech headset & all these different ... I was a computer scientist.

& this is where my story starts to unravel...
I attempted suicide by pills in 2005.

I developed severe mental retardation for about a week, & no one in my family noticed because I think they went camping without me. But anyway, it's been over 20 years since I met Taylor Swift.

& to be fair, I just remember sending her a lot of information. She could help me reconcile with my lost currencies. She could reintroduce the idea that I love her.

Even though I'm broken.

& I've had four girlfriends since.

& I regret them.
All four.

I feel stunted by society.
My family & friends call me delusional.

Everyone is poison.