you won't regain trust of someone you treated like shit, however if you have really learnt from your mistakes like you seem to imply you have - own your decisions and move forward. And maybe one day you'll meet another cool person worth living for. then you'll be ready to not be a piece of shit to them.

Again assuming you've actually learnt something and if you haven't you should stop crying and analyze what you did wrong if anything and own it. Speaking of owning it - autism didn't make you do shitty things, you made you do shitty things. I've known many very kind and generous autists. yes you r impaired socially emotionally and whatnot, but that does not force you to be an asshole by your own estimation.

and back to trust again, obv it's destroyed in a second and built in years, so you gotta value it. and if another chooses not to give you more chances to betray their trust you can only respect that and choose to value it even more next time - with someone else.

tl;dr tough love, but you gotta own your shit and accept the punishment it's only fair, don't blame god, if you were shitty to someone you can only become better and either ask for second chances or respect their wish to live on without you while you ready yourself for the potential next friendship. this time making sure you value it.