File 17274807975.png - (77.87KB , 1022x582 , 1608626736454.png )

I once laid down and listen to a playlist on my iPod classic. I decided that now I've had enough of music and to my surprise and astonishment the current song ended in some 15 seconds. To my surprise it was the last song on the playlist, so I didn't even have to turn off the music or even pick up my iPod, it just ended. The playlist was 8 hours 20 something minutes.

You guys remember Amanda from the other thread? Well I actually met up with her. We hit it off after I made some donations. I found her chatturbate live acc through one of the megadumps. She is awesome in most of her videos. Anyway, getting back to the story, it turns out she is married, but her husband is her pimp. I put down a round sum of money and they let me airwolf her sweet Indian cunt and do backshots. She was a real slut for my dick, it felt so good mane. Please post more suc(k)cess stories ITT.

>>830332
Was it awkward? When you first met? Like, how did you negotiate it? Were you like, "can I touch your punani?"? Or where you like here's the money I have can I do whatever I want to you? I never quite understand how prostitution works. Like how do you negotiate such a thing. Can you drive the prize down the way you would ask for a lower price buying some vegetables in the market? The whole thing is just weird to me.

>>830342
It was very awkward dude, especially in the beginning. But we powered through and it was totally worth it.

when I was a kindergartener I believed mascot costumes were the actual characters

My dad dressed up as Smokey the Bear for a field trip and I thought it was really him, my other kindergartener classmate kept pointing out the zipper but I kept denying it

>>830345
wow you were a real strawberry growing up, weren't you?

When I was 14 I had just moved to a new school and wanted to fit in with the cool kids. So when I was invited to smoke weed and set fireworks off at a park at night I jumped at the opportunity.

Because I was new to the area, I didn’t know that the park was literally 50 meters from the police station. My new idiot friends knew that the police station was there, but it didn’t cross their minds that smoking weed then setting off illegal fireworks to signal our exact location might be a bad idea.

It’s important for the story that you know I was a very fat kid, rotund like Augustus Gloop from Willy Wonka.

So when the police arrived at one end of the park, we all ran towards the only other exit. I ran incredibly slowly due to my incredible size, my moobs jiggling magnificently as I sprinted.
The police were waiting at the exit and caught everyone, everyone except me. Due to me falling so far behind everyone when we ran, the police were unable to see me in the dark and assumed that they had got everyone.

I ended up sleeping in a bush that night, but my ample reserves of fat kept me warm.
So my weight saved me twice that night, once from the police and once from hypothermia.

I was living in rural Gippsland as a teen and was walking home from school. Walking past some of the farm paddocks, I usually passed on my way home and I heard this really loud grunting sound coming from the tree lines. To this day I regret letting my curiosity get the best of me I crawled my chunky ass under the fence to get a look. There was a man, doing the dirty to a cow behind the trees. I shit my pants and ran away. Saw him a year later in a fish chip shop a town over eating a chico roll.

My highschool was ghetto and someone was smoking weed in the bus cuz it airwolfing reeked. How did they decide to find the guy? The cop smelled everyone's finger no joke. My friend saw they were doing this and dug his fingers right in his ass and sack. It was 110° in southern california. They got him in trouble but realistically what could they do. I laughed so hard I puked.

I was eight years old when I was bundled into the back of the car, like a sack of potatoes, by the drunkest man I've ever seen. He drove 100 in the 20 and kept screaming about how I didn't trust him. Eventually he slammed on the brake and I took the opportunity to jump out the window and run.

File 172786063927.jpg - (117.31KB , 1200x1200 , 059747.jpg )

>>830369

I myself commissioned a genuine katana in Japan for 2,400,000 Yen (that's about $20,000) and have been practicing with it for almost 2 years now. I can even cut slabs of solid steel with my katana. Japanese smiths spend years working on a single katana and fold it up to a million times to produce the finest blades known to mankind. Katanas are thrice as sharp as European swords and thrice as hard for that matter too. Anything a longsword can cut through, a katana can cut through better. I'm pretty sure a katana could easily bisect a knight wearing full plate with a simple vertical slash. Ever wonder why medieval Europe never bothered conquering Japan? That's right, they were too scared to fight the disciplined Samurai and their katanas of destruction. Even in World War II, American soldiers targeted the men with the katanas first because their killing power was feared and respected. So what am I saying? Katanas are simply the best sword that the world has ever seen. This is a fact and you can't deny it.

File 172799266920.jpg - (78.00KB , 640x480 , 1528562440235.jpg )

>>830402
Wooow... Sugoi! (•̪ o •̪)

>>830402

>Even in World War II, American soldiers targeted the men with the katanas

They all had airwolfing katana, it was the uniform

File 172878619973.png - (230.55KB , 1080x1642 , 1505978974313.png )

Jannali pub denying entry to one of the locals for not wearing shoes. Instead of heading off home, this guy takes pork chops out of the pub raffle meat tray and then uses duct tape to strap them to his feet. The pub lets him back in with this bit of quick thinking ingenuity. In his new shoes, the guy starts a game of pool with one of the other locals. Because of the pork fat on the floor (and probably heaps of beer), the other local slipped at the pool table, fell, and broke his arm. This other local then sued the pub and won. All pretty Australian... except the suing your local pub part.

My first job in IT started a little before the 2 girls 1 cup came out. The previous IT guy was a super nice, straight-laced, decent guy. He worked with me for a couple of weeks before he left for a different job. I had already known him for about 1.5 years (I was an admin at the same company, and moved into IT when he quit)

I came into work on his last day there and my first official IT day. He sends me an email around lunch time that day, and it just said "check this out" I airwolfing opened that video, at my desk, in a low walled cubical, in the middle of an office of 80 people! Luckily, I didn't have my sound up very loud, and as soon as I saw the horror of it, I almost yanked the cord out of my screen, trying to shut it off. I spin around to see if anyone saw it and a few feet behind me, hes just laughing his ass off. I asked him what the airwolf he was thinking, and he was almost crying laughing, and just said "welcome to IT" he was and still is a great guy.

I came here to say

"I apologize for nothing"

I will say in the first weekend of the original xmen movie release back in 2000 or so, when Patrick Stewart was unconscious on the table and you could see he was shirtless, this black kid just screams out "I DONT WANNA SEE HIS HAIRY DICK!" and instantly destroyed the entire theater. I couldnt stop laughing and it made it more memorable then anything else.

I spent all day working in a mother/daughter home and both were obsessed with Taylor Swift. They had tickets for later that day and it was literally an all day ritual for these women. The daughter was my age maybe, like mid 20s so that tells you the mother's age. It was pretty weird and they just talked and talked about the concert for so many hours I couldn't wait to get out of that house. It was an all day discussion about everything Taylor Swift related and all the stories they had from her previous concerts they had attended. All that being said, they were both incredibly nice people who didn't give me any trouble whatsoever plus they had a bunch of cats which kinda balanced everything out. They also both wore see through tops and no bras for most of the day which just kinda weirded me out? I am attracted to women it's just a little different when it's two strangers pointing their "guns" at me all day and talking about Taylor Swift.

During the Pokemon card happy meal thing a grown man purchased over 50 happy meals, then dumped every single one out on the ground so he could grab the Pokemon card packs and just leave.

why does 7chan have the most cp out of any imageboard? wtf, it sucks dude

At 12 i got pain flares in my belly, my mom who's a nurse touches it and concludes it might be appendicitis. By the time i went to my doctor the pain's gone. Fearing of making a fool of myself for coming without being sick i pretend it hurt like hell ; got sent to the hospital. At the hospital it still doesn't hurt and i fear even more to look like an idiot ; i keep faking pain every step along the way until i'm admitted to surgery. Turns out i actually had appendicitis, my organ was bloated and purple and it was beginning to turn into a peritonitis.
I'm very grateful to myself for listening to my own stupidity lmao

>>830699
It's probably some airwolfing arachnologist that got butthurt dome time after 2012, or some kikes find it funny and will fo it until their eventual and brutal deaths.

Either way, it stops the old community from coming back and making NIGGERTITS the unfortunate place to go, even with the packs of glowniggers that camp the site out to soam strawberry glownigger shit,

File 173035848560.gif - (1.28MB , 401x285 , just no.gif )

>>830699

It does not someone keeps getting the links from a very small chan board and posting them here
Why I do not know, if I had to guess?
There all glowyneggiers from around the world who just share that stuff with each other because they are the law and they have the guns

Also see spam.jpg
It's not CP it just the users handle all over other places
I got banned from here for posting it already

people still use ffourspam with filters the shit is all over the place
Apart from X now, Intsa-whore probably is now the go to
After the massive Mastodon Fail, which was sickly funny

>>830706
You seem like 4cancer would be a perfect fit for you.

>>830746
This.

Holy Fuck! A block!

A kid at my school turned on the gass in the science room and stuffed the desks full of paper and lit it. Blew up the lab. He got called to the principals office, and while he was sat waiting, he stole the principals keys from his desk. Climbed out a window, stole his car from the car park, and decided to drive to the other end of the state to see his brother in jail. He ended up getting chased by police, pulled over, and ran into the nearest field.. which happened to be a highly guarded poppy field where apparently he got shot at and was eventually apprehended and sent to Juvie.

British copper here, I think ive only got one 'crazy' but allowed on youtube esque call which I have to tell.
so for context the place I live has a local drunk muppet who for the sake of privacy we will call Bob.
Bob is well known around town for being well, extra. He is usually pissing off people and if not pissing of people he pisses off of roofs, so stellar bloke.
One night myself and my partner get tasked to respond to a drunk man at a pub whos refuseing to leave, so we respond to the scene and talk to the manager. Turns out Bob decided to lock himself in the bathroom with a pint and a pool cue. You see Bob was not very happy about the fact the evil bartender wouldn't let him hit on the staff or drink himself to sleep.


So we decided that we could reason with such a man and started a conversation trying to convince Bob to put the pint and pool cue down. After around half an hour of riveting conversation and negotiation, Bob decided to oblige us and opened the door only to show us the shit he took and how proud of it he was. We were then praised by Bob as we flushed the toilet and removed him from the bathroom. Cut to us in the car and he decides to piss in the backseat and curse us for ruining his night.

In the custody suite we find out that Bob managed to smuggle a pool ball up his unwashed behind which he decided to roll on the floor throughout the night with no incidents. which surprised me as somehow this man braved his shit ridden colon to shove a pool ball inside for later and decided to just play with it.
Upon asking the manager whether he wanted the pool ball back, he elected to allow Bob to keep it.

Some dude in a suit walked up to me in a hurry. He stopped me and told me he’d give me this $100 bill if I peed in his test cup right now. We were outside a government building, his job obviously depended on it, but it seemed wrong to give someone with that sort of public trust a free pass. I ended up doing it, casually peeing in it between cars, and taking the money. That dude definitely didn’t pass.

My grandma worked at Lagoon in Utah in the 80s, and she witnessed a kid get cut in half from the waist down after the kid fell off the Puff the fire-breathing dragon ride. The ride went around 3 times and back then you could unbuckle your own seatbelt so he thought the ride was over after the first go around, and since he was in the back cart, when the ride when off to go around a second time he fell off and fell halfway through the railing before catching himself. The ride takes about 10 seconds to go around each time, and while the kid was pulling himself up, the cart came back and hit him, cutting him in two. My grandma, who was emptying a garbage near the line entrance, said the kids' parents tried to pull his upper half out from under the cart. The ride still exists today

I was a primary school teacher in England in the early 80’s. I asked a group of five year olds what their parents liked to do when on holiday. In hindsight obviously a big mistake. One little boy said his mum liked to make cakes. A little girl said her dad liked to make cars, ok. Then a little girl said my mum likes to wee on my dad and my dad likes to wee on my mum!

We went out at like 10pm and were just drinking and walking the strip. We hit a few bars during the night, a few strip clubs off the strip (Sapphire and Deja Vu) and then headed back. We got food at Fatburger (open 24/7) and ducked back inside Planet Hollywood. We then headed into Paris to use the restroom and we stumbled on.

Then suddenly we opened a door to leave, and it was daylight.

It was dawn.

Like, early sunrise morning.

None of us could remember the night before besides the few bars and strip clubs. And then we looked up. And we looked closer. We were in the fucking Shops at Paris which have a celling that mimics breaking daylight. It was only 2am. We were shit faced and obtuse and still inside the casino.

When I saw the Dark Knight in theatres, I had the misfortune of landing next to an aged man who kept sending fart clouds my way every 5-10 minutes. On top of that, he brought a container of chicken from home wrapped in tinfoil.

Went to school with a severely autistic dude, and he lost it one day because someone said "Hawaii."

He flipped the lunch table and attacked a kid screeching "TOO MANY VOWELS!"

While we were in training, a bunch of blokes broke into our classmates room right before we went on leave. They covered the room in soil and threw grass seed everywhere than locked a baby goat inside for the holidays. When the bloke came back the goat was dead and there was shit and grass everywhere completely destroyed the room.

>>831424

I hope they were punished for animal abuse.

>>831425
It's just a nigger thing, don't worry about it.

I started getting friendly with this woman I worked with, one night we closed together I asked it she wanted to go out to dinner and I took her to get sushi, we had a good time. another time she invites me over to her place to watch a movie, so I go to the address and she walks me up to her apartment. I go inside and the smell hits me like a chemical weapon. there's dog shit everywhere, all over the floor, some fresh some dried up. she's like "oh just step over it, I haven't had time to clean" like girl there is at least a week's worth of shit around here! y'all I'm telling you, she always showed up to work with her hair and makeup done nicely, her clothes were clean, she smelled good, she was super bubbly and sociable, last person you'd expect to live like that. I did not hang out with her outside of work again.

When I was a kid I had a birthday where me and some friends were supposed to spend the night at the zoo. At some point, it stormed a bit and the wind was so strong that somehow a bull got out?? They sent all the kids home because yeah no shit but because me and my buddies were older (I was around 14 and so hyped to spend the night at the zoo and then we got there and the next oldest kid was like maybe 8 lmao) we got taken on a private tour in a golf cart. Zookeeper told us about how they used to give the elephants treats but the elephants quickly realized that the local ducks really like the treats too. They would leave the treats out to attract the ducks and then stomp the ducks into little flesh patties. I’ve never looked at elephants the same (although tbf i’d prolly do the same if i was locked in a zoo).

I stayed at Circus Circus in 2009. A drunk person pooped in the hallway. I reported it to the cleaning lady and reception. 12 hours later, and not only was it not cleaned up, but someone had stepped in it. We called back and the general manager apologized and said we could stay again for free, but we checked out the next morning and never came back. I'll never go back.

File 173593427937.jpg - (2.04MB , 2500x1875 , 0_0_0027.jpg )

Every time a girl rejects me I buy another AR.

>>831692
hah, this was years ago before doorcams etc, there was a serial shitter who used to shit around a suburb for years , they finally got the guy, he just jogged at night and would shit on someone's porch or steps and when the people got up to go to work they'd find a nice surprise by the serial shitter, apparently he confessed after they tracked him down that he did it just for the Lulz of it....

File 173619064046.jpg - (1.88MB , 4032x3024 , 1103448216.jpg )

>>831697
get on my level

File 173619102954.jpg - (1.67MB , 4032x3024 , 236550063.jpg )

here is the current collection

>>831714
you didn't even buy the same thing dozens of times!

>>831775
we have a lot of holes to fill, simultaneously.

>>831804
Nice hobby you have there, buddy. Make sure you clean them holes before and after. There are many opportunists who will gladly hijack your innocent little hobby for their own survival and procreation, even if it means at the peril of those who had the heart for some innocent fun. It's not because there's something wrong with your hobby, it's just the times that we live in. Not everyone is to be trusted. Especially not anyone invisible.