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My folder is larger than I thought.

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So. How'd you get in the slammer?
Me? Slapped my wife around too much. Bitch smashed her head open on the counter. Watched it splat like a melon. Sent me a little over the edge?

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What? You honestly think she's the only person I iced? I couldn't take the guilt anymore, I let myself get convicted.

What? Tips on getting away with murder?

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Well, kid. You see, most people don't understand that if there is no body, there is no murder. Too many people freak out and dump it on the side of the road. This is dumb and it WILL get you caught. It's better if the police don't even have a crime scene to work with. Be thorough. Lay down plastic sheets like you saw in Dexter. Wear gloves. A full body suit if you can, actually. Be sure you tie your hair up if you have any. No smoking or canned drinks! This will be written assuming that the body isn't already bleeding. You'll need to hang the body up by its feet, vertically. Prepare several tubs to allow the blood to drain into. When you're ready, sever the jugular and begin to bleed the body out.

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Once that is finished, you'll likely want to dismember the body into pieces. This will make transport and handling easier for the next steps. Remember, when transporting the body parts off-site, be sure to double black BLACK garbage backs. Put a little bleach in each bag with the body part. This will help with the smell as well as decomposition.

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Anyways, next thing you're going to want to do is remove all of the teeth from the mouth. Even the wisdom teeth. Be careful not to leave any fragments behind! While you're at it, remove all of the fingernails and toenails too. You might want to get a noseplug, teeth can be stinky! Especially if they're in poor condition. Now, pulverize the teeth and fingernails. Grind them into a fine dust. This is to make the body harder to identify in the extremely unlikely case that the limbs are actually found. Scatter the dust in a place far away from the killsite/dismemberment site.

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Now, get a heavy hammer because you're going to start beating the body parts up as hard as you can! Break every bone as much as you can. Disfiguring the bone structure like this will make it difficult for authorities to discern previous injuries your victim may have had, thus lowering the probability of identification. Remember to keep all of the tools and instruments used in killing/dismembering in one place; If you lose them later on it could end up ruining you!

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Next step is charing the body. Incinerating it completely is a little more high-profile and isn't exactly a slow process, so we're just going to burn the body enough to get rid of all that hair and the fingerprints. It is important that every last little bit of hair is gone from the body. Stoke the limbs halfway into the charring process to insure this.

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Next comes the question of actual disposal. There are various things you could do.

If you have access to a large amount of concrete, you can encase each limb into a large concrete block, and drop them at various locations in the ocean. NEVER EVER drop more than one limb/part in the same place. Make sure the limb is completely encased, of course! To the naked eye this MUST remain an inconspicuous concrete block.

Another option which isn't as effective is burying the parts in various areas across the country you live in. This is obviously more dangerous, since digging a hole takes a considerable amount of time and people tend to be nosy. Always always always be sure to dig your holes deep. At least 5 feet deep. Even for a small limb. That way you minimize chances of it being discovered. Nobody is going to find a hand 5 feet deep in the ground unless they're REALLY digging for it. Be sure to NEVER bury more than one limb in the same state! Always bury at least 2 states away from each limb. If they find more than one, they may be able to link them up with each other, increasing their chance of identifying the body.

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You could also feed the body to pigs, but this isn't desirable because it also takes a considerable amount of time to digest, and some fragments of the body may come out in the feces.

If you have access to highly corrosive acid, then use it.

Now, remember how I told you to keep everything used in the murder/dismemberment in one place? That's because you're going to break all of it! Yep. Burn the victims clothes and any clothes you wore during the murder/dismemberment. Scatter the ashes. Burn the plastic wrap. Be careful not to spill any blood! If you do, scrub the shit out of it with lightly corrosive acid/bleach. Dismantle any and all tools, weapons etc as much as you can. Burn any wood handles down to the ash. Melt any plastic as much as you can. Smash and cut any blades. Once you have destroyed your tools as much as humanly possible, wipe them down well to remove any possible fingerprints, then dump them in various areas far away from where you live or commited the act. Do not dump more than one fragment in each spot! The ocean, various dumpsters, other people's trash, deep beneath the ground, junkyards etc. Any place that makes sense, really. Nobody said killing people was cheap! It's not if you want to get away with it, anyways. Being paranoid never hurts.

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Be sure never to confide in ANYONE. Even if you think you know them, or think they may sympathize with you. Deep down, you really never know anyone. People hide their true personalities from even their closest families. Even if they openly admit to wanting to kill, they may just be compelling. If they're that vocal about it, they probably can't handle your secret anyways! It may be upsetting to keep it inside but admitting guilt to ANYONE almost ALWAYS leads to capture.

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Forgot to mention what to do with the blood. Mix it half and half with bleach and dump it down a drain. Obviously don't do this if you have a septic system. If you don't mix it with bleach it stinks and coagulates. It can cause problems in the piping and the stench will come up from the sewer grates.....dont mix blood with bleach. if you want to destroy the basic structure of the blood ALWAYS mix with ammonia, or a borax+water mixture. bleach is an obvious sign and smell and usually leads people to your drain in the first place. coat all drains with 2-3 gallons of 5% vinegar BEFORE dumping blood down it. after blood+ammonia/borax is dumped finish off by using drain-o for 15 minutes then flush pipes with clean water.

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Well, that's it, kid. I gotta get off now, this is my stop. I have work to do.
Good luck in the soccer tournament, champ.

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what the fuck is wrong with you OP.



Nice dump btw. fukken saved

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OP, how in the world is one supposed to do all that burning without attracting attention? Not all of us live in an area where the winters freeze and every house has a fireplace going daily.

Also, this is way too complicated. The best way is to frame someone else for the murder. Simple. Appeasing the public is what drives murder cases, and the public is satisfied as long as SOMEONE pays for a death. It does not matter who that is, or even if all accomplices or others are punished. That is why they have no trouble with plea deals, where one perp rats on the other, and he gets three years while the other gets life, even though they both did the same thing.

Or just take that person hiking and push them into a ravine. "It was an accident, I swear!" you tell the cops. Your life will be a clusterfuck for a while, but they won't be able to prove you wrong.

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OP is so randum

Breaking Bad had the right idea: first, dissolve the body in acid. Then neutralize the acid. Finally, flush it all down the john.

>>33647
>accident
Well, the police MIGHT be able to stick an involuntary manslaughter charge on you if they were really good enough.

Those are some good tips, I'm sure /grim/ would appreciate them.

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God bless, OP. God bless.

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Haha holy SHIT I made this thread two fucking years ago

this place really is a ghost town

Hello OP. I saw your post.

>>34878
Some are fucking worse

>>34878
I'd laugh if it wasn't so pathetic.

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>>33629

This place reminds me of the last few episodes of Texhnolyze.

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>>34950

I've been lurking this board since 2011 and almost nothing as happened here since that time.

>>34956
>>34956

It was actually kinda (I stress kinda) busy from 2010-2012 or so. We had the monthly Anime Book Club threads, they were fun.

>>34957
2008-2009 was a very active period, I found 7chan /a/ the best place on the internet then.

RIP in piece.

>>34878

>my thread is still here

I can't believe how much I've changed since then. Ika isn't even my waifu anymore.

>>35199
>not staying loyal to your waifu

>>35072
Give it time, she'll come back

>>35199
You are a gigantic faggot.

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>>35205

i know

Ika Musume was years ago and it's still cool yet 7chan remains dead as ever

>>35311
With the change in the rulez it'spicking back up.

That's a Cat

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>>35365
That's not a cat. THIS is a cat.

paste.ubuntu.com/23567688/

Dedchan

>>35370
Why does that Cat have a dress on?

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>>35373

Because you have to have something to take off.

>>35212

here for my yearly thread checkup

hope you guys are all doing good

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>>35438
Guess that makes two of us. Hope you haven't forgotten that you're still as retarded and gay as ever. But besides that I truly do hope you and everyone that used to be here or still is, is having a good time.

>>35378
Hey cute cat poster won't you let me treat you to dinner sometime huh?

Well thats it for my pilgrimage of image boards. I'll try and remember all of you so that you'll always be in my memories, for what thats worth atleast.

Sayounara my dear friends I've yet to meet.

This just makes me feel sad. Fuck you OP you fag for making this shit thread

>>35440
You're a fucking retard

>>241876
no u

my monthly check up on /a/ good to know you fags are still complaining that this is a ghost town since 2013
progress boys, it may be slow but it's still progress,

I miss this place so goddamn much

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>>35547
We all do, anon.

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I'm quite surprised this site is still up.

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>>35550
>>FPOB

Wat? Is Doctor Faggot, Cable, or even Bjoli gonna show up next?
Somewhere, I have a feeling even XII lurks occasionally. Yeah, I'm calling alla you oldfarts out. I'll start with an old favorite.
MAHOMAHOMAHOMAHOMAHOMAHOMAHO

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>>35551
>oldfart
>tfw only 22

>>35551
>Wat? Is Doctor Faggot, Cable
DrFaggot is dead and I forgot he even existed until you mentioned his name. Cable hasn't come on 7chan in years.
>Bjoli gonna show up next?
Bjolis been dead since like 2013. He was only around for like a year anyway. Not sure why he became so memorable.
>I have a feeling even XII lurks occasionally.
Nope. Also dead for years.

The IRC died a few years ago too. We mostly moved onto a private Line chat which consists of about 15 people.

The only person who actually uses 7chan is me but I rarely post or even look at the boards. Just delete spam and glance at the recent post queue.

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>>35552
Yeah, but you've been posting for a good few years now, plus, outside of Amethyst's modposts, you're the only one left who namefags. Around here, that's a memorable thing. Glad to see someone I recognize.
I have hopped to the even numbered chan across the street on occasion, but this here's my true /a/ home. Why else would I do these oververbaged year in review threads? They average about 1 reply that's not mine each year. Because it's 7/a/.

Gonna get a little tl here.
>>35553
I had a feeling DrF was gone for awhile. I remember reminding Cable I knew about his whereabouts, thanks to his griping on a few threads about his job. Think that might have aided his departure.
Bjoli was my Sky Girls brother-in-arms. Also usually ready to give rundowns on GITS at the drop of a hat.
I think 12 just kept getting told to go away didn't help. Wasn't really a bad poster.

Now if you REALLY wanna go back into the wayback machine, about 9 years or so ago, there was a poster who obviously felt at home on the SOSboards. We could get into some Haruhi discussions/arguments, and then it became unwise to start a Haruhi thread with any previously used material, hence the rule of the board.
I got asked to join IRC a number of times. I just don't have the time nor will. I post in threads, that's too much (sic.). If you're the only one who posts, well, no. I;m more at home here, and would like to see some /a/ discussions of....whatever.
maybe.....anime might be nice. I've got 17 (feaking sevenfuckingteen)shows this season. I'm saving CCS until next season. I want to watch, but not til it's right.

What are you watching lately? srsly, keep it up y'all.

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>>35554
I'm glad someone remembers me. Looking back, tripfagging was really dumb of me, but I was a total newfag to chan culture back then. I must unfortunately admit that in the time I've been gone I've been frequenting the other chan; I just lurk 90% of the time, the other 10% is shitposting. 7chan was always slow, but it got to the point of total ghost town which is why I left.

While 7chan was and still is slow, I always liked how you could have proper discussions on here. Not a whole lot of "my opinion better than urs hurr durr" or off topic shitposting.

As for what I'm watching, I've been watching Pop Team Epic and recently finished Gabriel Dropout. Both are good shit. Pop Team Epic is doing the 4koma justice IMO, despite tackling it their own way. I read a lot more manga than I watch anime, and these days I mostly read 4koma and SoL stuff. Still keeping up with shonen like OP, BnHA, Shokugeki no Soma, HxH, OPM and some others, but after a busy day of work or recovering from a hangover on sunday it's nice to relax with a nice cuppa tea and some SoL.

As for manga, I've recently picked up Shoujo Shuumatsu Ryouko (Girl's Last Tour) and Chichi to Hige Gorilla to Watashi (Dad, the Beard Gorilla, and I). I really, really like the 2nd one, it's particularly wholesome and cute.

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>>35555
And things like your recommendation of that manga, The Dad, Bearded Gorilla and I is one of the reasons I've always liked this place. For some reason, this site is more reliable for anything remotely /r/ for anime and manga. I'm definitely going to check that out, thanks!
I don't read too much manga online, as my eyes aren't that good (oldfart? Yep, oldest one on this board-now and then.I got more than double your years on this planet, somehow), but there are a few I dig that I can keep up on, but I still prefer hardcopy, and my favorite find of the last year is Species Domain. High School sol series that's more of a rom-com that includes Elves, Icarus (winged people), Dwarves (a cute girl with a beard? You betcha), and some normal (?) people as well. I enjoy it, it's got lots of humor, and there's no non-cute girls in the series. I got the first 3 volumes, and have almost worn them out. I got V4 too, but I'm holding off on that to read on my vacation next month.
I'm coming back later in the evening, I got my stoopid wrasslin show on tonight (7 chan will never have a /wooo/ board, but thankfully 420 does), so I'll be a few beers down, and will ramble on some more.

Wow, conversations in /a/. I remember these fondly.

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>>35555
k m back.
Pop Team Epic is the first show since Kyouso giga that I can say is "who needs drugs" to. Not that I do any m'self. coffcoff. I didn't get into the manga, but with all the memes, who needs to? Gabriel Dropout is definitely worthwhile. One of the few times a purple hair is best girl. Got started reading the hardcopy. The anime and manga are canon so far. The OP and ED have to be heard in their entiretly though.
Gotta ask, have you seen either Keijo or Killing Bites (so far)? they are absolute musts for any seinen fan (can deal with a bit of shounen. Shoukugeki no Soma is the cure for anorexia.

Pic rarely related. Just remembering when a show was watchable.

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>>35557
>he thinkgs Vigne is best grill as well
My fucking nigga. The ED for Gabriel Dropout is okay, but I particularly love the OP. It's such an upbeat song, and I enjoy hearing all the characters shouting random stuff in the background during the parts that are technically lyricless. Raphi's voice makes me melt with how cute it is.

Yeah I heard of keijo/saw a clip here and there. It really makes you wonder how much weed they were smoking when they decided to make a show like that, it's even more absurd than the reactions in Shokugeki.

There's also a manga/sometimes 4koma I've picked up called Komi-san wa Komyushou Desu. It's about this girl who is super hot, amazing personality, but she's shy to the point that she never talks (kinda like Senryuu Shoujo) so everyone thinks she's a complete goddess and impeccable when she's really just too scared to talk. The manga is about her quest to make 100 friends; what I really love is how every background character you see ends up getting a chapter; they often do plot relevant things in the background as well without standing out blatantly, and so a lot of funny moments can very easily slip by you if you're not careful, as after reading so much manga, you tend to automatically tune out background characters sometimes.

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>>35558
Again, interest piqued, and will have to check out manga mentioned. But regarding OP/ED songs, I have to hear them in their entirety and not just the tv size versions. I've caught some ED tunes that I thought I had full-but realized I didn't. The shift in mood in both full OP/ED of Gabriels Dropout....it's like missing the full-on ED of Hoozuki no Reititsu, Season 1. If you haven't seen the PV of Parallax View by Sumire Uesaka-you are missing so much of the fun. Let me fix that for you.
Shokugeki no Soma next cour coming up in April. Get your appetite ready.

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>>35559
o shi...
apparently the vidya isn't working. sorry, I'm not imbed much. Just kinda drunk.
pic probably not related.

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>>35558
and one more thing before the drinking does it's job-regarding Keijo. WATCH IT! It's girls fighting in sukumiu over top or water using butts and boobs. MC has a smile that kills. It's produced by XEBEC. It has an OP tuen (look for full-length) done by Airi-who used to be UR@N, i.e. Shiina from KiraKira, and sounds like her work with Milktub. It's a perfect storm.

Now, I thikn it's safe to pass out. watch this show, dammit.

>>33629
Lol

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>>35561
very well. I will embark on my journey to view gratuitous animated bosoms and gluteus maximi, for purely artistic critique purposes of course

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>>35577
I expect a foam at the mouth (good or bad) review when you're done.
And along the same lines, current season's Killing Bites-especially the latest ep-might be of interest as well.
Yuri Honey Badger People who kill like Pupa never did. Plus, superbaka Rabbit girl who's best girl of show.
I can't describe well, 6 beers/3 tequila shots......and 6eps of current season tonight. Don't expect deep tjhougts tonite.
Pic maybe related or not.

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>>33629
Have this.

>>35582
https://archive.loveisover.me/u/thread/2551237/#2564838_1
https://archive.loveisover.me/u/thread/2551237/#2564838_3
This person is out to try to "bait" and "summon" people to cause problems and ruin threads.

It's out right insane how fucked up the head he is.

If there are any mods on this boards you really need to do something about him.

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>>35585

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This sucks. Here I go away for a week or so (FPOB, ya done with Kaijo yet?) and this freaking board has disintegrated to less sense than I make. I didn't belive it could happen, thanks for proving me wrong.
Screw meds, these posts have a fuckton of something. I dunno what. All these last few posts just remind me of a series I re-watched while away. I agree: "Lyrical Tokarov Kill Them All"

Lots of tequila and /a/ this vacation. I'd post a Punie-Chan gif, but don't have one. Settle for a pic of Osaka and her bodyguard instead.

....now to decide how to handle the stickied thread. Like I'll have a problem.

hello i am meguca

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>>35600
Who is that?

I was 13 when I made this thread. That is why all the jokes were not very funny. He is nice.
Now I am 18 and I can actually post here if this board wasn't dead. He is also nice.

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posting in a ancient bread

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>>35630

>>35629
Now I'm 20.

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>>36191
Happy Birthday.

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>>33629
Damn....staff need to update this board a little.

Honestly this site is just a shell of it's former self, who ever in charge should just shut it down.

Why bother when all the traffic is on faggot 4chan.

I say this being a oldfag here from the b-day days.

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>>36297
Yeah, you're just Cable being a tripfag. Enjoy your box crushing.

Dead thread lives.

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>>36297
I'm glad this board still lives. I made this thread when I was 13 and I love to go back to it as a little marker of the ages. 7chan reminds me of the mysterious internet I knew when I was very young, back before internet culture got watered down by a mass influx of insufferable people.
And I still love Ika Musume.

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>>36329
Roaches, canned beets, and 7's /a/.
We will be the true survivors of the world's end holocaust.

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>>36297
7chan is the last genuinely good space on the internet.
It has withstood the test of time. It has withstood assault after assault of attempts to bulkanize and bastardize its culture. It still stands here, however. I have spent over 16 years on this site and I still browse it everyday. If you look at our metrics on the internet our site traffic, while it will never been at the levels it was at durring 2008 and such the levels are still around what they were in 2014-2015. We still get a ton of traffic, just, most traffic is situated in our niche boards like grim and eh and /b/. 7chan is a landmark on the internet and a testament of the times.
>>36329
How are you anon? What's it like being an adult now? How are things different now then they were when you first made this thread?

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It's nice to check in here every once in a while. Dropping a recommendation for Bad-Girl Exorcist Reina-San. Great comedy interspersed with horror scenes that are quickly resolved with more comedy. Excellent art, waifus, and plot.

>>36342
huh, looks like I forgot my proper tripcode. maybe this is the one

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>>36343
Wait wait wait....
Yeah, you have been here forever. Neato. I remember fighting off Narutards forcing them to containment threads. And all the "Oh Shit Kubo! What Are You Doing_Blecch threads.
Those guys were a bit too srs.
I wonder whatever happened to our UK and Eurofags. Cable too. I enjoyed freaking with him.

Shit, a few years ago, I got asked to be a mod here. Had to decline-I still never went IRC.
And you're still into anime, Kewl. New season isn't too bad, but I'm still picking my jaw off the floor from Date A Bullet.

Kurumi lives. Mahomahomaho

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>>36342
I'll have to check this out-you gave me some really good reads in the past.

dunno why, but one of my favorites the past few years stopped awhile back, and a bit early if you asked me. But Naughty Succubus Saki-chan is so Zetsubo Sensei, it's not really the fanservice that'll keep you around.

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>>33629
I prefer Uma Musume - Pretty Derby

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I prefer cats to squid girls...

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Time for s(h)rimps